Yeah, that still has the same issue and doesn’t rhyme.
Okay guys, we need this ready. Endi would like to know how long it’ll take us to read and stuff, so we need to know what we’re doing.
Are the people that want to read avalible today to try to plan/run through?
I’m doing the calling the corners spell tonight, but if you guys need a Gossmere reader tomorrow I will be there
You’re good for today, we just want to check timing stuff and finaliase a few things.
Atm, we have 2 Goss and 2 Flinters on Ginger’s list of volunteers, and 1 of everythign else. Up to you guys who does what.
I did commit to Part Two, but could also read here if there isn’t a Flinter around that’s already committed to this one!
i can try to read tomorrow. what do we have to do tomorrow?
I’m also here to help, Nim.
I read the story aloud to myself, with the fun rhyme scheme, and taking natural pauses, it took me about four and a half minutes for a dramatic reading.
I reckon it’ll take longer if different people are reading different parts, just to allow the change of narrator.
Yeah, I agree we should get this sorted today.
I’m going to be busy all evening
OKay guys, D-day is here. We’re doing this spell in less than 11hours. We need to finalise the poem and who’s doing what.
So, we have @Revenir for Flint, @Remus for Weatherwatch, @grimangel53 and @Ginger for Ebbie, @Crytter and @OracleSage for Goss, @Sellalellen for Thornmouth, and me. Do we each want to take a verse? There are 12/13 verse and the final couplet, so some of us are going to have to read more than one.
Did y’all ever come up with a line to go in that empty spot? Don’t wanna step on toes, but I might have ideas for that, and for tweaking the rhymes in a few spots, if needed.
Go for it.
Finalize everything you need to here and then once you’re ready and I’ve created the new topic we can all meet there.
At this point Viv, go ahead. I’m out of ideas for it
Also, if anyone else that isn’t committed to part 2 or feels they have eough energy left from part 1, feel free to say below if you’d like to read. As you can see, we have plenty of verses to go around. However, we need to decide fairly soon who’s reading what…
I’m happy to read whatever is needed of me, either I or Crytter can read the Gossmere verse.
Nim, I never volunteered for this…
Okay, I’ve bolded the tweaks I’ve made from the last full copy, and notes are in italics:
Old Father Oak Tree became dismayed,
while beneath his branches the children played.
“I’ve lost my Book!” He cried and sobbed,
While the leaves of his branches fluttered and bobbed.
“A Storm blew through with a mighty breeze,
and tossed my book out among the other trees!”
The children looked up at Father’ Oak’s face,
“To find your book at once we shall race!”
They cast about the roots of the tree,
but to no avail; the book had blown free.
Across the wide forest its pages were scattered,
It’s bindings wind-torn, worn and tattered.
Little Blonde George who stood in the Northwest,
cried “If we work together, we’ll be at our best!
To find Father’s Oak’s book among the far boughs,
we must gather together and search high and low.
If we go out alone, our chances are slim,
to find Father’s tome and return it to him.”
Red-headed Frances looked out North and East,
fidgeting with her skirt, pleat and crease.
Out from her pack she drew out her tools,
Lenses, gears, cogs, and wire on spools.
She built a machine that would comb the wood,
and set it to seek out the book, as it should.
Impetuous Walter ran too and fro,
Scouting up high and searching down low.
Over the Western Mountains he peeked,
And was the first to spot what they’d seek.
The spine of the book lodged among stones,
Far, far away from their houses and homes.
Raven-haired Beatrice threw caution aside.
West-by-Southwest she started to stride.
At ease through the forest she ably surged,
Plucking lost pages up as they emerged
With the other children following in tow,
They walked and walked, with miles to go.
Precocious young Thomas cried “Not the right way!
Toward the Southeast, our path ought to stray.
I’ve read all the maps and examined the charts,
And I know navigation is science, not art.
Let’s take the pass that leads us straight there,
and victory in finding the Book we shall share.”
Pale young Este held up her hand.
“Hold, my friends, 'till we have surveyed the land.
The paths we walk must lead us back East
back towards Father Oak tree, at least.
Once the Book’s found, what good will it do,
if we cannot find our way back through?"
The children (and Frances’s finding machine)
all made their way through the glade and the green.
They found Father’s book, right where it had landed
And put back the pages they’d noticed abandoned
With all but two pages, and shining with pride,
They carried the book back to Father Oak’s side.
“My Book! It’s been found!” exclaimed Old Father Oak,
then to each of the childen he spoke:
“George, Frances, Walter, Beatrice, Thomas, Este (Note: pronounced ESS-tay?),
you each have worked hard this on harrowing day.
Now rest and slumber, as you each deserve.
You have made me proud, my book is preserved!”
Then Father Oak, laughing said, "Oh, what a bother!
We seem to have traded one thing for another!
My dears, I think finding my book had a cost,
Your woollen scarf and shiny pendant are lost!
(Or: “Another book you had discovered is lost!” if Dee makes it back with the book)
But do not despair that you’ve paid such a fee,
For happiness you have returned to me.”
The children laid down their tired young heads,
Oak’s leaves were their pillows, his branches their beds.
and they dreamed of a peaceful and beautiful land,
where wonder prevailed and their struggles did end.
And Old Father Oak looked on with pride,
as each of his children laid down sleepy-eyed.
And the Storm that had caused the destruction did see,
Father Oak and his children at peace by his tree.
It thought of the anguish its raging had caused;
and at that, its tormented heart finally paused.
With the Book’s final pages held firm in its grasp,
The Storm realized it had one final task:
It returned the last pages to Father Oak Tree
and finally rested, peaceful and free.
EDIT: changed the “world/prevailed” couplet to “land/end”
Wow, those are great edits, Viv! The only weird rhyme problem I see is in the 3rd to last last stanza, where “prevailed” is rhymed with “world.” I can’t think of a rhyme that would work better at the moment, but maybe after some food I’ll be able to think of something!
So now, with Viv’s edits, we have 7 extra stanzas and the couplet. Is everyone comfortable with reading an extra stanza each? Or should the people who helped write it read those? Should we read the couplet all together (that would be hard to do over Hangouts I know). Just some thoughts as we get into the last few hours before this all goes off. I’ll see you folks in a little bit!
"and they dreamed of a beautiful and peaceful land,
where wonder prevailed and there struggles did end."
Does Land and End work better than World and Prevailed, or Bough and Low?