A Sense of Bittersweet


#1

It’s taken me a while to figure out what I wanted to say to you, and how to say it. How to sum up a year of one’s life in a few paragraphs. To give you what you need so you can fulfill your purpose here.

Becoming a Mountaineer, a Balimoran, and figuring out what those things mean, has been quite a journey. I’ve had my ups and downs with it all. Many days when I wanted to quit and be done with it all, just forget it and get on with my life. But I would see that Basecamp logo staring at me, and, well, here I am. Why? Dierdre. Brandon. Cole. Aether. Portencia. Marty. And all the Mounties I’ve connected with here. I’m a stand-offish, introverted, arm’s-length person by nature, not the easiest to engage with, and I’ve had things happen this year in my own life that have brought me to my knees, over and over again. But I made the effort. For them. For you.

A lot has happened this past year, there’s no way I can go into it all here. But my journey with you hasn’t been about discovering or re-discovering magic, in myself or in the world. It’s always been a fundamental part of me and my life, regardless of who else believed. For me, and I’m just now realizing this, I think it’s ultimately been about trying to help others get to that place, others who may have suspected but never really had any validation or support. Magic is real. I’ve seen it at work too often in my own experiences in this world to know otherwise. Bringing knowledge of magic back into the world to those who are ready is your purpose. You are a repository of that knowledge. Those of us who came here and joined these adventures came to help you fulfill your purpose, in whatever way we can.

Why? For me it’s because I believe the only thing that can save this world from itself is bringing magic back into it. Everything else has been tried. Everything else has failed. It’s what’s missing from the world. Like a handful of cards that someone ran off with. The game can’t be played without them. We’re literally not playing with a full deck. Most people don’t even know they’re gone. Some of us have had sneaking suspicions. Others know, but don’t know what to do about it.

To me, it doesn’t matter if you open or not. I’ve taken this journey with you, and what you contain isn’t really the point. It’s about taking the path, following it, and accepting what you find along it whether it turns out to be what you expected or not. Because, ultimately, it’s not about what’s in you. You are a guide to what’s in us. Magic isn’t in books. It’s in people, in nature, in life itself. In the challenges we are presented with, and the moments of blinding joy. You are here, and I’m gonna quote Christopher Nolan here, because he said it better than I ever could, to remind us of something. Something we once knew, but have forgotten. That our world isn’t real. The only way back to what’s real is within. The truth isn’t out there. It’s in here. Empowerment is our purpose here, but power isn’t something you take or can be given. It’s something you ARE. You can’t empower us, you can’t give us what we already have. But there is something you can do. what I believe you were created for. To remind us. That magic exists, and that it is very real, and that we need to seek it, find it within ourselves, and come to an understanding of that power, what it means to us and how we intend to use it. That is a noble purpose indeed.

It’s up to you, whether or not you reveal yourself and what you contain within, just as it is for all of us. But we all have a purpose. This is yours. There’s no shame in choosing not to fulfill it. Most don’t. But you reached out from the darkness, from whatever abyss you were hidden in. You called out for champions. We arrived. You don’t owe us a thing, that’s not what I’m implying. What I am saying, clearly and directly, is, this is what you came here for. This is what you were created for. We had to be tested. Understandable. We had to take the journey, each of us, for ourselves, in our own ways, for our own reasons. Essential. But now, the tests are passed, mettle has been proven. The next step is up to you. Whatever you choose, know that I (speaking only for myself) am not disappointed. I got what I came here for. Did you?

Much love to you on your journey, wherever it may lead, and thank you for letting me be some small part of it. I’ll never regret letting you be part of mine.


archived #2